How to Overcome Your (Subconscious) Limiting Belief Systems and Make Your Best Work Yet
“I’m Not a Painter”
Aside lots of other tangible “roles” (sister, daughter, partner, friend), I am an artist. More than a writer, content creator, consultant, etc., I am an artist. But even after beginning to sell work and take commissions (about eight years ago), it took me a while to be able to claim the title without feeling uncomfortable, at best, and like a total fraud, at worst.
(I’m writing this because I know I’m not the only one. I’d even go so far to say this is a majority of artists, especially those emerging and interested in beginning.)
And now, even within that title of “artist,” having been a professional for about eight years, I’m quick to acknowledge that, even still, that I have limiting beliefs to overcome. It makes me wonder how many people — artists and creators especially — struggle with a sense of inadequacy or imposter syndrome for their entire lives. I’d guess it’s more than we want to know.
It shows up when I try and paint — especially oils. I’ve had stints in all kinds of mediums: watercolor, acrylic, and oil — mostly just for the creative challenge and help in loosening my hand for more gestural line work.
And as much as I try and commit, I usually quit too soon. I get frustrated with my own lack of patience, which I attribute to my “lack of talent,” leaving canvas after canvas unfinished, many of them ending up in the trash can because I can’t stand to even look at them.
And then, of course, I’m left reeling, having wasted time, money (canvases are expensive!), and headspace.
If you’re a creator of any kind, maybe you’ve been here, too.
But What Makes a “Painter,” Anyway?
It was a few months ago — deep in some kind of creativity-focused, isolated COVID bender— that I heard myself say out loud, probably three times, “I’m not a painter.” And I brushed it off in conversation with friends and family members, like it was factual, nothing which needed explanation.
And after each impulsive, nonchalant, “I’m not a painter,” I felt an aching feeling in my stomach. Sick, even.
“Excuse me?” I asked myself.“Are you talking about me?”
It was as if I had become okay with the fact that my not being a painter just made up who I am, like my European ancestry or my curly hair or my tall height — like there was nothing I could do about it, so might as well live it out.
And I felt sick because I knew that I was speaking death and destruction over my ability to be a painter and, overall, a more exceptionally creative human being. (And what’s a painter anyway except for someone who paints, anyway?)
It hit me after the third time.
The reason I’ve never considered myself a painter isn’t because of my lack of resources or even my inability to paint. It’s that I had been speaking that narrative over myself. Every time I’ve sat down to paint, I’ve allowed myself to cut corners and mix colors sloppily, chalking it up to the fact that I’m just “not a painter.” I’ve allowed myself to paint poorly, without care or precision or intentionality. My belief system is what had been holding me back, more so than any lack of skill or interest. And here’s the thing: Our belief systems define and shape our lives, especially as creators, more than anything else does. More than the cards we’ve been handed, more than our suffering, more than our childhood traumas, more than our “lack” in any one thing.
I had learned about belief systems in therapy, but this was the first time it clicked for me as an artist. What I believed to be true about myself defined my ability to break barriers, step into higher levels of creative ability, and to reach my optimal Create State.
Here’s the Thing About Belief Systems
Your belief system is a subconscious understanding through which you perceive others, the world, and yourself. It can come about through a comment or an implied narrative about who you are, and it can affirm you positively or negatively, depending on the root of that belief system.
For example, if you were bullied for your looks as a child — maybe you had braces and acne and fuzzy hair and lanky limbs and big feet like I did (I was a sight!) — you may have developed a belief system that you’re undesirable or secondary or invisible.
And because our brain is always scanning for information to validate our beliefs — we see this in politics, for example — we’re going to look for cues that confirm what we believe about ourselves, in our subconscious. We don’t even realize we’re doing it.
So, for example: If I have a belief system that convinces me I’m undesirable, and I go to a party and see a guy I’m interested talking with another woman, I’m going to think “I must be undesirable if he’s choosing to talk to her over me.” Again, this usually happens in the subconscious; there are so many reasons he could be speaking with another woman that have nothing to do with how desirable I am as a whole.
In that moment, I’ve confirmed what I already believe to be true about myself. So, I’m going to respond and act accordingly, to further confirm that belief. I’ll continue to tell myself I’m undesirable, and maybe I’ll shy away from speaking with other people that might be interested in me, or I’ll turn down date invitations because I don’t believe I’m worth it, or I’ll show up awkwardly or obviously insecure in conversation, and shutting down or rejecting compliments even if they’re genuine.
And if your belief system is negative, that cycle’s effects can be devastating.
And similarly, for creators: If you have a belief system that you’re “not a painter” or a good musician, architect, or whatever regarding your line of work, you’re going to scan for information that validates that belief and then you’re going to act like it’s true — confirming that very belief and then bringing it to life.
I told myself I wasn’t a good painter, so I didn’t act like a good painter, and then I wasn’t a good painter (subjectively speaking, but also technically and stylistically — I wouldn’t let myself grow in the first place!). I disqualified myself before anyone else had the chance to do so. My belief system telling me something untrue has been my own greatest enemy in my process of painting.
“I Can Be a Painter. I Am a Painter.”
Following that revelation, after I had had it with myself and my own negative self-talk, I sat my buns down and said, “Cut this out. No more of this. You’re a painter now. And you’re a good one. This is your new story.”
And then I painted with that narrative, and created one of my favorite pieces to date — a small, 4x4 inch eye of a young man with a strong brow, uniquely colored and painterly and so true-to-self I can’t imagine ever wanting to sell it.
Of course, painting, like any craft, requires skill. It requires commitment, investment, and training. It’s never easy, but in order to get anywhere, you must start with the right belief system. Otherwise, you will always be trapped in your own sense of inadequacy, fear, anxiety, and self-loathing.
Here Are Some Tips to Help Overcome a Limiting Mindset
If you know me, I won’t leave you hanging without some tactical tips to implement. Grab that pen and paper and be ready to do a little good-for-your-soul work.
Identify your limiting beliefs. What’s stopping you from being the wildest, most abundant, most exceptional creator? The first step is a little tricky, because it’s hard to identify beliefs we have if they run in the background of our subconscious mind. They’re folded up inside moments and memories that might not even be top-of-mind, but have affected us deeply over the course of our life. Be patient with yourself. Begin by asking: “What is something I want to do but don’t think I can?” Do you struggle with a creative project? Are you struggling with a task at work? What are you afraid to start? Where do you think you don’t deserve to be great?
Pick one thing, and write it down. In this article’s example, for me, it would have been “I want to be an oil painter.” Or, more specifically, “I want to paint and appreciate the outcome of my work.”
Identify what negative belief system, or narrative, you’ve been operating from. Are you telling yourself, “I can’t do this because I’m not a good writer”? Or “I’ll never make it as an interior designer”? Or “No matter what, I’m just not a good mom”?
Write it down. Write the belief down. Give it some language. This part sucks, but we can only work through these belief systems if we can actually pinpoint them and give them some tangibility.
Identify the opposite. For example, “I’m not a painter” would shift to, “I am a painter.” Or, “I’m not a good writer” to “I’m a good writer.” (If you’re having trouble with this step, try and speak to yourself like you would a friend. If someone you loved came to you, discouraged in their exercise routine, and said, “I just can’t do it. I’m not a runner.” You’d counter automatically with, “That’s not true. You are a runner. You just have to keep trying!”) Remember: The point isn’t to tell someone (or yourself) a lie — it’s to call out a truth that has yet to be realized. It’s prophetic encouragement. It’s speaking life over piece of their identity that has been put to death with a negative narrative.
Write it down. Write the newtruth down — this will be the new belief you practice via affirmations.
Speak it aloud. Say it out loud, even if it’s awkward. Write it on Post-It Notes and stick ’em around your bathroom mirror, your monitor at work, your fridge door handle. Sing it in your car. Give yourself an in-the-mirror pep talk so loud that you’re absolutely jazzed to wake up at 6am for work on a Monday morning because you are good at this!
Congrats! You’ve spoken life over this truth. You’ve breathed life into it. Incredible! You’re doing great! Now, keep going. Keep speaking that new truth over you, day in and day out. Changing your belief system is an intentional commitment. Yes, one moment is pivotal, and it’s a huge step to identify it and to name it, but healing will require investment over time. (Some days will be harder than others. That’s okay. Growth isn’t linear.)
Operate out of this new truth. Write it, speak it, live it like it’s true, because it is. If yesterday you weren’t a runner, but today, you are, what are you going to do today? You’re going to run, of course. Because you’re a runner now. And you’re a good one. And if you’re a painter? You’re gonna paint today. And you’re gonna make some excellent painted work. Because you’re an excellent painter, even if your skillset has yet to catch up.
